I got a new computer!

It's a shoebox with the word 'COMPUTER' handwritten on the side, crossed out, and replaced with the word 'COMPUTER' again.

Yeah, it's got tons of ram!

Is that what that doodle is supposed to be? A ram?

And it has a great touchscreen!

You mean the cling wrap? How much did you pay for this?

$100!

Wait, that's what you needed $100 for? You said it was a life and death situation.

Yeah, I can't wait to play Life & Death 4 on it!

...

It also has a shoe holder!