"Hey there, citizen? Care to try our new Frosted Frip-N-Dippers?"

What do you mean "our"? And why are you using your radio announcer voice?

"New Frosted Frip-N-Dippers are the ONLY snack with the Flav'r-S'plosion cheese delivery system! TRY ONE!"

Uh, okay. Hmm. What is that, prosciutto? Old socks? Whuh, my tongue is swelling! My eyes are sweating! I can't feel my face!

Uh... "Your results may vary! Ask your doctor if Frosted Frip-N-Dippers are right for you!"