Hey Monte, wanna help the cause? My kid's selling cookies for school.

You don't have kids. Believe me, I'm grateful for that fact, but you don't have kids.

Okay, fine, I'M selling cookies. For a good cause. Just buy a couple already.

What's the cause? These are just frosted sugar cookies from the grocery store bakery. And they're $5 a piece?!

Look, this will go a lot smoother if you just stop asking questions and make with the cookie buyin'.