Good news! I renamed all the important holidays so they'd make more sense to me.

How convenient.

So I propose calling Halloween what it really is... Creepy Costume Day. 4th of July shall now be known as Blow Your Thumb Off Day. St. Patricks Day will just be Green Beer Day. Memorial Day makes more sense as Campgrounds All Booked Day. New Years Day will just be Diet Day. And last but not least, Thanksgiving, which will be furthermore known as Pumpkin Spice Food Orgy Day.

I guess I'm relieved you didn't rename Christmas.