How was your weekend, Mortimer?

Ugh. Lame. Wasted all Saturday afternoon playing stupid Ultimate Frisbee.

Oh, and you didn't enjoy it?

Not at all! It's not an ultimate Frisbee, like a Frisbee with lasers and chainsaws and stuff coming out of it. It's just some dumb sport called Ultimate Frisbee. It's like catch with points.

Well I actually think it's quite fun. It's competitive, but it's not as ruthless or barbaric as contact sports. And nothing's as satisfying as when you get that flick of the wrist just right and the disc soars perfectly through the air, without a hint of wobble... Are you even listening? You're imagining a frisbee that shoots lasers, aren't you?

Some of the lasers would be red, and some would look like lightning bolts. But the most powerful lasers would probably be invisible.